This is not the end, it's only the beginning

When you read my blog here, it's somewhat the continuation of this blog. You'll be able to understand the periods of gaining strength and proving to people that I can achieve whatever dream I have in life. So there we go..

The life I had in graduate school was pleasurable like my college life in an advanced way. The only difference was I have my own means whatever I want to do in life opposite with what I had in college. On the other hand, I went through the most unexpected situation wherein I felt that the world was on my back. I never thought that it will happen to me in the most heartbreaking way.

I started entering graduate school last 2009 and it was quite difficult for me to handle things the way it should be. That was the first time I had opposite gender classmates and I was really anxious to mingle with them knowing that they grew up with Ateneo environment. That was also my first time to give a report in front of the class with a topic that I really don’t understand. Remember I took Master in Environmental Management and FYI those subjects are for engineers and scientists. And as an International Management graduate, I really don’t know how and where I can get basic understanding of the course. But in the long run, I understood some of the topics little by little with the help of my classmates who had their majors during college.

I can say that my classmates were engineers and scientists. I built friendships with them because they also like parties and happenings like me. I remember my first Christmas party with them last December 2009. We had our Christmas party at Village East Clubhouse in Cainta where our Program Chair lives there. We continued the party at my friend’s place in La Vista in Katipunan. We bought drinks and food and of course, we had fun and pretty drunk. I guess the friendship started there. I got to mingle with alumni and some people who I haven’t got to talked to even if we’re in the same program. AND THE REST IS HISTORY! :p

I had lots of fun during my masteral days. I don’t want to mention it here since it’s too many to mention. I think I’ll mention it little by little when it will relate to some of my soon-to-be-posts.

2010 and 2011 was somewhat my happy yet miserable years of my life. If you read my entry before this, I mentioned that I lost the people I treasured the most and at the same time, I also lost the love, trust, and care of the people who give value me just loving a person whom I thought he’s the one for me. I also mentioned before that there were many heartbreaking episodes that happened in between. I guess I was failure at those years. I failed my most ever loving dad who sees me as his good and loving daughter. I also failed in some of my subjects because I chose to be with him rather than studying my lessons. I turned my back on everything and I guess that person didn’t see the fact that I screwed up everything just to be with him every single day. But I didn’t blame him for those things because once in my life, I was happy and free doing things that I really want.

I guess year 2012 gave me a rollercoaster ride. It was February 2012 when I took my compre exam and thought that I’ll be graduating on that year. My parents were very excited for me to graduate and they kept on telling me that they will be on leave on the day of handling my diploma. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to pass the compre exam and wasn’t able to graduate on that year. I enrolled the compre exam on June 2012 and the department scheduled my second compre exam on September 8, 2012.

On April to June 2012, we had an on-the-rocks relationship. It was the time that our relationship was on and off. I already felt at that time that he has someone else and he was already lying to me. I guess he was only good in hiding. I’ll never know because I saw the best of him during the first part of our relationship. I guess I have to believe the fact that “IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE”!

So there we are, it was June 8 when we were finally okay. I remember that it was our enrolment and did some errands on that day. Months have passed that I was feeling some kind of unease feeling. He was hiding his phone to me in which he doesn’t ever do it to me. He was acting up strangely and I already felt that our relationship will end up soon.

So it was October 10 when our relationship turned 2. We weren’t able to celebrate that day since my car was coding. So we decided to celebrate it the following day. October 11.. the last time we had dinner together and see him. I never thought that it was the end of everything between us. Weeks passed and I haven’t heard from him. November 9.. I found out that he was with someone else who was way opposite of me since October 18. That day (November 9), I really didn’t know what to do about myself. I went to our department in Ateneo and asked for some enlightenment (Hello there Ate Weng if you’re reading this!). I drunk up and cried. That’s all I can do for myself.

I didn’t want to see myself look pitiful so I went to the gym, went out of my friends, laugh, drink, party, and stay focus on the last part of my graduate studies program.. MASTER’S PROJECT (equivalent to a thesis). My master’s project was entitled, “Streamlining of the Environmental Requirements in the Upstream Oil Industry in the Philippines”. I guess I got pretty fine because I had something to get busy with. I started working on my master’s project on January and have to present it on February 18, 2013 (see how lazy I am! HAHAHA!!!!).

Master’s project wasn’t an easy task for me. I presented it last February 18, 2013 with my mom and dad were watching and supporting me. My professors were really amazed because that was the first time that student’s parents are there to watch and support their son/daughter.

I can say that master’s project was the highlight of my Atenean life. It brought out the best in me. OW-EM-GEE! I can’t imagine how I did it but all I know is I gave my very best until the last breathe of my life. After I presented my master’s project, our coordinator talked to me and they were giving me 8 days to finish a REVISED paper with environmental governance. In short, I’ll change everything from title up to recommendation. I had second thought of accepting it. I asked them for options. If I pass my paper within 8 days, I’ll join the commencement. But if not, I’ll get my diploma indicated that I’m a graduate of year 2013 but I won’t be able to join the commencement. I talked about it with my friends and they pushed me to finish it within 8 days. What I did at that time was, I took a leave at work for 1 week and forced myself to finish what I have to finish in 8 days. My revised paper was entitled, “Streamlining of the Permitting Process in Offshore Oil Production: The Galoc Oil Field Experience”. How is it sounds like? A professional writer who wants to make governance for oil industry? Many people were telling me that my paper is more of doctorate paper and they were wishing me the best luck for it. Fortunately, I was able to finish it within 8 days with the help of Asian Development Bank references (thanks to my sister who works at ADB! Glad that I have a connection there. LOL!) and served it as a guide for my paper. Luckily, there was a paper regarding environmental governance that similar to my topic. Whew! God is good all the time! Yehey!!! J

There were still some revisions on my paper but not the same as what they asked me to revise. I was really losing hope at that time to the point that our program chair screamed at me. I almost died of having a routine of Mandaluyong-Makati-Mandaluyong-Ateneo since my adviser works in Makati and I really had a hard time of going to him for some reviews of my paper. My routine was, I’ll go to office early in the morning, park my car, take a cab going to my adviser’s office in Makati, take a cab going back to our office in Mandaluyong, then go to Ateneo to pass my revisions. See how tiring it is!

I survived those challenging moments. It was an extra blissful feeling of achieving the most unexpected thing that could ever happen to me. I never thought of surviving in doing my paper alone. There were some people who became part of my paper and I was really thankful that they extended their helping hand in finishing whatever I had to finish. I was morally and mentally supported by those people and without them, I won’t be able to join the commencement.



taken from my instagram: nostalgicmortal

I was really happy the time I laid down my toga on my bed and I stared at it for a minute. I was thinking all the hardships and challenges that I went through as I completing my master’s project. I realized that I’ve grown enough to face the challenges and trials alone. I just need people who will pull me UP and bring out the best in me. And as I get ready to march that day, I kept on thanking God for all the extra strength and patience that He gave me. I cannot explain how happy I am on the day of our graduation. I was able to complete everything ALONE.

My parents who have been very supportive to me right from the start up to the final step of my graduate studies. They never said “NO” in all my favors and they were happy to help me. They never let me fight alone. They were always there for me during the time of revising my paper. They even watched during my master’s project presentation and I was really ashamed of myself because I know they’ll compare me to my sister who has been excellent in academic. I wasn’t ashamed of being teased by people that my parents were there during my presentation and it was very highschool for them. It was not that. I was ashamed because I can’t express what I have to state to my panellists so they’ll understand oil industry since having a title regarding oil industry was a pioneer to them. I can’t repay their love, care, understanding, and support to me that’s why this is the only thing I could give them – to watch marching and receiving my diploma in front people with a round of applause.




(Left to the Right: I, Dr. Emilyn Espiritu [Program Chair - Environmental Science Department], Doy)

Some time in our lives, we encounter circumstances that are unnecessary. But those circumstances will help us grow and find ourselves get to where and who we suppose to be. Sometimes we need to learn in a hardest way. Some situations that we face in our everyday lives acquire us more patience and hardwork to push ourselves to reach the highest goal of our plan.

That was what this person did to me. Dr. Emilyn Espiritu or Doc E (short for Dr. Espiritu) pushed me to the limit. I was about to give up and decided not to join the commencement because I was losing hope of finishing my paper and submit it to my given deadline since my paper was really difficult. Most of the people, even my adviser, were telling me that I still have to elaborate my topic. And so because of that, I really had a hard time on putting words just to make my readers understand my manuscript. Doc E got so incensed to the point of yelling at me. She really wanted me to join the commencement because she saw the effort and support that my parents exerted during the presentation of my paper. So as a pay back to my parents, they have to see me on stage and receive my diploma.

Joy and I

She was a graduate student of Master in Environmental Science. A survival too, like me. haha.. Oh hello Joy! She was a DOST (Department of Science and Technology) scholar. She has to finish the course in 2 years or else, she’ll pay for her tuition fee. Her program was way technical than our program. They need to use laboratory and laboratory equipments for their experiment. She was the only ES student who finished the program in 2 years. Kudos for that! You’re so amazing, Joy!

He’s one the few people whom I can lean on and trust all my worries and confusions. He’s one of the people I really admired. His hardwork, patience, perseverance, and determination caught my attention and realized so many things in life. We have never been that closed when I entered Ateneo but on the year 2010, we became good friends and considered each other as best of friends. We promised each other that we should march and receive our diploma together and we made it together through thick and thin. We dealt with trials and challenges in our lives separately and guess what?! We surpassed it and even made us stronger in the long run. We learned to value our lives and the people we met because we believe that there are reasons why we meet those people and make memories with them.

I’ll treasure our friendship for the rest of my life. The memories we’ve had are one-of-a-kind. He’s one of the people who helped me with all the circumstances in life and he knows how to lift me up again. He doesn’t want to change me because he accepts me for who I am and who I am not. He doesn’t ask me to be who I am not really am except that I have to work hard and not to give up. I saw a “true friendship” with him and I won’t ever ruin it no matter what it takes. Hey Doy! If you’re reading this, I love you to the moon and back, biatch! :p



DRESS: Petite Monde
SHOES: People are People

 I gained weight after I submitted all the requirements for graduating students and officially listed my name to the registrar as one who will join the commencement. I was deprived of sleep and food during my master’s project days and everyone can attest to that. I was free from everything so the result was this. I was too fat on this photo and actually, I’m still fat until now. HAHAHAHA…..

Ateneo de Manila University
Sharlene P. Suarez
Master in Environmental Management

March 18, 2013 – the day of my success. I accomplished my Plan A and I saw in my family’s eyes that they were really proud of me. Behind this diploma were the challenges, trials, hardships, pains, and tears that made me knew myself and showed everything best in me. As I walked towards Fr. Jeth Villarin, S.J. (Ateneo de Manila University’s President), received my diploma, and bow downed to the people, I proved to myself that no one can ever turn me down and hurt like I was a nobody. This diploma made me realized that I should be WISER to choose what’s best for me and STRONGER to face whatever circumstances that I’ll face as I take my journey.

This diploma is for all the people who impaired me and accused me like I’m the worst human in this world. This is not yet the end. This diploma reminds me of the start of my success. Everything will start here and let’s see where it will lead me to. Nothing’s wasted. All things that I’ve lost are worth it. Without losing, I won’t gain something and I’m happy with whatever I have right now.

I remember when someone gave me words of wisdom during the days of my misery - that I’ll be happier more than the people who have hurt me. People go because it will lead to open doors for a new beginning. I cannot explain my happiness now and I’m thanking God for all the people whom he had sent to me to guide and help me. I believe that all things that happen to us have reasons and those reasons will define who we are and our ability to do something great.

I would like to thank my colleagues for giving time for me. They always make themselves available just to answer all my queries and helped me solve my problems about my master’s project. Almost all of it came from their ideas and I’m so thankful that they recognized my effort and hardship on my paper. They were very supportive with my studies and I’m grateful to have people like them. Thank you so much! I’m proud that I became part of this company.

Above all, I thank Papa J for providing me extra strength in facing this challenge. With You, I’m ready to take the next biggest challenge and it’s about my career. I know it’s not easy but I’ll do my very best to understand everything about oil sector. Thank you for all the blessings that You’ve given me. You know that deep down in my heart how thankful I am for not leaving me in whatever I do. Thank you so much, Papa J! You’re great!

So before I end this lengthy post, I would like to share you a song for myself. This song reminds me of all the bad days in my life but I eventually outshined after the rain with a big smile on my face. I was criticized by people who are on top since when I was in highschool and so, I proved that I am not what they think of me! People left me because they don't understand who I really am but I learned to stand on my own and fight without the weapons that I thought can save me.

"SHOOT ME DOWN BUT I WON'T FALL, I AM TITANIUM"

A little bit of something personal about me

It was year 2009 when I decided to take the next level of education. I was in an exclusive school since elementary up to college. I never experienced having boys classmates so I would never know how to deal with them. I’ve been reading a lot of issues regarding bullying and I was afraid of experiencing that. So I thought being in a co-ed school was such a survival-everyday-kind-of-life until I stepped in a school where things were different.

I’ve been dreaming to enter and study in Ateneo de Manila University since when I was in grade 4 when my sister started to have her Master in Business Administration. I remember when she always tells me that Ateneo is one of the prestigious schools here in the Philippines and it’s really difficult to pass their entrance exam. She also tells me that the only schools at that time are University of the Philippines (U.P.) and Ateneo de Manila University (ADMU) where all witty, smart, rich, cool, and best people are studying there.

I got curious at that time and at the same, I got the urge of studying there. I remember when I was in grade 4, I promised to myself that I’ll study very hard and give more time to my studies rather than playing with my neighbours. My focus at that time was to have good grades to enter Ateneo de Manila University with a course of Business Administration.  Since grade 3, I got myself into a course of Business Administration because of the influence of Asiaweek magazine that was subscribed by my dad. So everytime I read that magazine, I always asked my dad on how those people got rich and put on the magazine. My mom and sister enlightened me about the courses on how to get a job easily and I also remember that I asked them about the course of Business Administration if I can be rich. Oh well, they said “yes” but of course, together with determination and perseverance.

Ironically, I didn’t get good grades that much. I even took summer classes when I was in grade 5 and third year highschool. Those summer classes were on my math subject. I really had a hard time in math. Seriously.  I wasn’t a math person. I was more on history. I loved reading and memorizing. I even got perfect scores when we were having a quiz and got exempted in some of our quizzes. But math?? Oh no! That was so horrible for me! I remember, my teachers always pitied me because of my situation. Though I was in popular in our school because I was the captain ball of our volleyball varsity team and we were always brought home the bacon, some of my teachers were gossiping about my standing in class. Someone told me that I have no brain and that, entering Ateneo will just stay as a dream. I can smash the ball perfectly but not my grades. I won’t forget that teacher who told me that. I promised to myself that I’ll reach for my dream someday and I’ll be back at the school where all accusations were pointed at me.

And so, I took entrance exam to several schools and one of those was ADMU. As I filling up the form of ADMU, I was whole-heartedly happy and dreaming that I’ll pass the entrance exam no matter what it takes. I even enrolled myself to entrance exam review school just for ADMU. My choices of course in ADMU were Interdisciplinary Studies, European Studies, and Anthropology. Those courses don’t have quota grades unlike the Management, Economics, and Engineering courses. Actually, I didn’t mind entering my desired course as long as I pass the entrance exam and get to study there. The only aim I had at that time was to be a part of ADMU community and have a diploma there. But unfortunately, I didn’t see my name included those who passed the entrance exam nor on the wait listed. My tears fell on my face and blamed myself of not having good grades. If I chose books over volleyball, I maybe one of those screaming that they passed the entrance exam and got the chance to be part of the ADMU community. I didn’t even pass U.P. with chose courses of European Languages, Anthropology, and Human Kinetics. For me, it doesn’t matter on what course I will be in as I start to go to college as long as I pass the entrance exam and get in to the school. The trick is, just transfer to your desired course in your 2^nd year of college since all subject that will be taken on your 1^st year are all general.

So guess where did I take my college degree? I mentioned earlier that I was in an exclusive school from elementary to college. Right? Oh well, I had my undergraduate course of Bachelor of Science in International Management and Entrepreneurship in St. Paul University Quezon City. HAHAHAHA..... All pretty girls are there, by the way. I get good reactions from boys every time I tell them that I’m studying in St. Paul Q.C. I learned so many things in that school and I’m so thankful for that. If you study in St. Paul Q.C., one personality will be developed. Personality development is the most adopted attribute in that school. HAHAHAHA..... Well, it’s a fact and pretty well-known. That’s why pretty boys choose St. Paul Q.C. girls rather than girls from other other school.

Studying in SPUQC (short for St. Paul University Quezon City) was very spoon-fed. It was like a highschool in an upgraded version though it was fun. I experienced a lot of things and I got the fame again in volleyball. We always have intramurals annually and of course, I get myself again in volleyball. Actually, that was the highlight of our college years. We practice twice or thrice a week and go home late afterwards. We do sometimes have a drink after our practice before going home. Oh well, that was so notorious of us. HAHAHA....

We presented our feasibility study (equivalent to a thesis) by partner as a final requirement for graduating students. I was with Cristhia (Hi Cristhia if you’re reading this!). I was in-charge of figures while Cristhia took over the writings. I was grateful that I got a partner whose writing skills were perfectly good. I didn’t know where she got those words she puts in but I was pretty amazed by how she wrote it. Good job Cristhia!

So I graduated last March 18, 2008 with a degree of Bachelor of Science in International Management. I got work three weeks after I graduated but it was not yet with the company that I’m working right now. I worked with a newly IT company with unprofessional people. And so I resigned after 3 months.

It was July 16, 2008 when I started working in the company where I’m currently connected. I can say that it’s really my comfort zone to the point of no growth in terms of personality and career. No promotion at all. For example, if you entered as clerk, you’ll also retire as clerk. So one night on December 2008, when I was having a chilling drink at the terrace of my sister’s condominium in Makati, she talked to me regarding masteral degree. I really wanted to take MBA (Master in Business Administration) in Ateneo Graduate School of Business (AGSB) in Rockwell but she insisted to have it as soon as possible. She was really forcing me to the point of annoyance was hitting me up. But since MBA requires a 2-year work experience, my sister can’t wait for me to take masters. So February 2009, I searched for a course that could somewhat relate my undergraduate course so it would be easier for me to cope with the subjects that were not too technical. I checked Master in International Studies in University of the Philippines (U.P.) and Miriam College. Those schools are both in Katipunan area. My sister and I also checked some course in ADMU Loyola for the courses that were not too technical for me like Master in Psychology, Master in Anthropology, and Master in Sociology. I didn’t feel like going to those courses when I saw their curriculum. So we went to the Department of Environmental Science and inquire regarding their masteral program. After in ADMU Loyola, we went to Tagaytay for some sisters bonding. We talked about the Master in Environmental Management program and reviewed their curriculum. Actually, I didn’t have any idea on the program as well as the subjects. I thought it was just like the MBA program. So I decided to enter Master in Environmental Management since the course has somewhat connection in line with the sector where I’m in.

I gave a try to Miriam College and ADMU Loyola since U.P. had a conflict with their schedule of classes. I passed the entrance exam both Miriam College and ADMU Loyola so I had a hard time in choosing school. I liked the course in Miriam College but ADMU Loyola has been my dream school since grade 4 and of course, ADMU is ADMU. People know how hard it is to pass the entrance exam there. So obviously, I chose ADMU Loyola and immediately processed my documents for enrolment.

Taking graduate studies is way far than taking undergraduate course and being an “ATENISTA” feels like an achievement for me. Taking graduate studies in a prestigious school requires an individual for an extra hardwork and perseverance. In order for an individual to survive graduate studies in ADMU, one should be fervent in what s/he does. Being in graduate school is not the same as being in college. Reading is very much important as well as writing. I guess english proficiency in writing and speaking is one of the requirements in graduate studies. Everyone’s speaking in english in campus. You know the term “Areneo” for Ateneo? Well, you’ll understand it once you encounter a group of Ateneans talking in a coffee shop. Hehe..

I acquired lot of attributes in ADMU - physically, mentally, and socially. I never expect to be what I should not suppose to be. I also experienced lot of circumstances during the in between of my graduate studies days. There were mostly downs than ups but still, I survived. I lost people who I really treasured the most and the person who means the world to me and because of those episodes, I learned how to fight for myself and stand alone when no one else does for me. I learned how to trust myself in whatever storm that may pass in my everyday life. In short, there were scores of hardships and challenges that I faced in the intervening time of my graduate studies in ADMU.

Challenges and trials made me a better person. From humiliation since highschool up to the last step of my graduate studies, I learned how to take those indictments into positive outlook in life. I served it as a trial to my patience and belief for my soon-to-be achievements in the near future.

My Primadonna shoes collection

PRIMADONNA is one of the best shoe brands that delivered and still delivering best design in shoe collections. Primadonna never fails with their styles. From being sexy down to being casual, everything is so stylish. I can’t resist buying from them, actually. They really suit my personality as well as my budget. I don’t have any regrets everytime I pull money from my wallet for a pair of Primadonna shoes because it’s all worth it. From design to comfort ability, it pays off!  

If you read my entry entitled “get to know me in some ways” (you could check it here: http://iamnostalgicmortal.blogspot.com/2012/09/get-to-know-me-in-some-ways.html), you’ll know my weakness. I love fashion and I really do love dressing up. If there’s one thing I won’t get tired of, it’s about dressing up! Because it’s my one way of expressing myself of who I really am. I dress up for myself and not for everybody else, anyway. If you don’t like my style, then so be it. It’s my fashion sense and not yours.

One thing I learned from fashion is that one woman needs to have a good pair of shoes and a pretty bag. Even if you’re just wearing a plain white shirt and a pair of ragged pants, just sport a stiletto and a small black studded bag, you’re two thumbs up for everybody else. You’re in for the entire day!

If you want to get noticed by people in an occasion, wear a Primadonna shoes and I swear, everyone will give you compliment on your footwear. It was already tried and tested. I’ve already been there that’s why I so love Primadonna because it makes me stand out in every event that I go to.



I guess you already saw this in one of my posts. This is my first pair of Primadonna shoes. I bought this in Market! Market! in Taguig. I used this during my pictorial for my friend’s portfolio. If you haven’t read my entry regarding this pair of shoes, you could read it here http://iamnostalgicmortal.blogspot.com/2012/09/primadonna-shoes.html and here http://iamnostalgicmortal.blogspot.com/2012/10/whenmy-friend-texted-me-about-this-i.html.

Photoshoot is one of my biggest dreams ever. So I immediately agreed upon on that concept, grabbed my Primadonna shoes, and click! There you are!

 

This is my 2^nd pair of shoes from Primadonna. I bought this in SM

North Edsa. I supposed to use this in the grand opening of a bar in Tomas Morato, Quezon City but unfortunately, something messed up and I wasn’t able to attend. How much do you like the design? It’s so unique, right?? I immediately grabbed this after when I saw it. You can pair it with any dress since this stiletto can actually carry all outfits. The color combinations really suit me. I love how it matched with one another. Look at the side of the stiletto. It’s surprising that the color yellow makes the shoes vibrant and sexy. I used this shoes during my cousin's wedding last december 20, 2012 at ferbrook in Alabang. This shoes caught people's eyes because this looks sexy and pretty on my feet. How would you hate something like this that when you walk-in to the door, all people will look at you and say, “Oh! Why you’re so pretty and sexy? The spotlight stays at you and steals the attention of the crowd! Your sexy stiletto is so perfect on you! You look sexier! ”. See???? That’s what can a gorgeous shoes do for you! That’s PRIMADONNA!



OMG! This pair of shoes is 2 months in the making! What do I mean by “2 months in the making”? I actually saw this in an instagram of a DJ last October. They were 2 girl DJ’s who were wearing this style in different colors. This style has 2 different colors: black and brown. So when I tagged this to my friend, she also came to like this and we never stopped looking for this since the day this shoes caught our attention. We tweeted those 2 DJ’s where they bought this but they were just retweeting our tweets. So last December, I was actually roaming around in Megamall with my bestfriend because we were searching for a good restaurant since we were about to celebrate his birthday. I passed by Primadonna to take a look for the low-cut boots that I’m eyeing about. I showed to my bestfriend but he doesn’t like it for me because it was too simple and I can’t maximize the use of it. And so, I took down the boots and check their other designs. When I turned to my right and looked down, I got a second look at this shoes and I slowly went to it and grabbed it. I was so happy that I finally found the shoes that I’m looking for. I prefer the brown one because I already have lot of black shoes. So I’ll try to mix and match my clothes with this one. What outfit can you suggest to pair up with this? Edgy type lang ang peg ko! HAHA..

The last pair of this was size 10 and I’m size 8 or 9. Good thing about Primadonna was, they searched some other stores if they still have a size 8 for me and luckily, they found one at their branch in Batangas. They product transferred it to SM Megamall and after 1 and a half week, this pair of shoes was in my hands already. Finally, I was relieved since I already got what I wanted. I found this pair of shoes accidentally and I love it too much. I know it’s kinda weird for you but I guess this will look good on me especially when I feel that I want to look “tomboyish” for a day. HAHAHA.... I know myself..... I can carry this!

By the way, thank you so much to all the staff of Primadonna SM Megamall. You guys were so accommodating even if I keep on calling you everyday for making follow-ups. I apologize for bothering you everyday starting 10 a.m. I just really like this shoes and I want to grab as soon as possible. HEHE.. You guys never stop giving your customers a warm smile. Keep it up! :) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! :)

This is the low-cut boots that I’m referring to when I saw the boots that I was searching for 2 months. Actually, someone handed this to me as HIS Christmas gift because he doesn’t know what to give me. He bought this after I bought the low-cut brown shoes (sorry, but I really don’t know what type of shoes is that. Hehe..). I was surprised because I never expected that he’ll really buy it. Oh well, that’s the essence of “courting” a girl. A guy will give everything to the one who’s special to him just to see that person happy. HAHAHAHA......

This flatform shoes has a story. A friend of mine who doesn’t usually give a Christmas gift, called me when I was driving home and asked me my shoe size. I told him that I’m size 8.

We normally do our usual tradition during Christmas. We go to our friend’s house (who just across our house) and celebrate Christmas party there. He handed me Primadonna paper bag, immediately opened it, and fitted it. Unfortunately, the flatform didn’t fit me thought it was size 8. So he has to return the flatform to SM Masinag branch and exchange it to size 9. Unfortunately, there’s no size 9 for that design. He has to wait for a week to product transfer that design from other branch. So he decided to look for another design but same flatform style. So when he saw this design, he actually thought that this style is soooooo.... me. It really fits my personality. Luckily, they have size 9 and it was the last pair of this design.

I was just surprised by this. I never expected that a friend of mine will give me a kind of gift like this. Normally, my friends just give me little things on Christmas. But this friend of mine is different. Because for him, he remembers me everytime he pass by Primadonna store. So he thought of giving me something that suits my “fashionista” look. Hehe.. Isn’t it nice?

The most common problem when I’m purchasing any footwear is my shoe size. Again, this flatform was product transferred from Primadonna Lucky Chinatown branch since size 9 was only available at the said branch. Thank you so much to Ms. Vanessa of Primadonna Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall branch for assisting all my inquiries regarding this style. I thought I have to wait for 2 weeks for this to be transferred at your branch but this just took 3 days to arrive. Thank you, Ms. Vanessa J

I actually saw this on a DJ (the same DJ wearing the brown low-cut boots). I always see this style but I didn’t mind it because the style was no impact to me. But when I saw someone wearing this, I realize that it’s pretty nice. I can pair this with casual shorts, cropped top shirt, and do a messy hair bun.......  and then boom! I can sing “I’m sexy and I know it!”. HAHAHAHA..... And as you look at it, it’s not tiring to walk this around. I can do shopping all the day on this. Isn’t it cute? What do you think?

For me, Primadonna is the best brand for me. This defines who I really am. I can’t stop giggling with their shoes. I really want to grab them all! All their designs are so fashionista! For an edgy type of person, you can have their flatforms and booties. Flatforms are the best style ever! They can go from being casual to being chic. For heels, it can make you stand out in crowd. You can set their eyes on you by means of wearing one of these heels. Their entire heels are sexy on feet. If you don’t feel like wearing heels, they have their stylish wedge. My most favorite wedge that they have is the one that has tribal design... the blue one and the red one. It’s really stylish and fabulous. I'll buy it the next time I'll visit one of their stores.

Anyway, sorry for the redundancies but I guess I already used “stylish”, “chic”, and “sexy” too much. Sorry but that’s how I patronize the brand. I won’t stop purchasing from Primadonna. If you’re a shoe lover like me, visit their stores so you’ll know what I’m talking about.

You can check their shoes at these branches:

SM Megamall, SM Fairview, Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall, Landmark Trinoma, Landmark Makati, SM North Edsa, Market! Market!, SM San Lazaro, SM Novaliches, SM Sta. Mesa, SM Manila, Festival Mall, Robinsons Place Manila, Ali Mall, and Lucky Chinatown Mall.

Or you could also check their website www.primadonna.com.ph and like them in facebook for more information and inquiries.

I hope you like my collections. I’ll be posting my ootd (outfit the day) one of these days sporting one of my Primadonna shoes :)

 

See you all again on my next entry :)

02.02.13 : This is how I started my Saturday

It’s compre day for my bestfriend as well as for my 2 other classmates. In our MA program (Master in Environmental Management), we need to pass the last exam (compre exam) for us to present our master’s project. It’s the last step for us to graduate. And compre exam is not a written exam, by the way. It’s like a panel interview. You have to sit in front of 4 panels and you have to answer their questions verbally. So, I went to school just to support them because I know the feeling of having butterflies in stomach before entering the room with 4 panels. As I arrived at our department, I saw Raiza (my close friend) and Ate Weng (Environmental Science department’s secretary) thinking that Doy (my bestfriend) is already there. Unfortunately, I was the one who first arrived than him (as if I’ll be the one who’ll take the compre. DUH! HAHAHA....).  I decided to go to the project room to check the finished master’s project so I’ll have an idea on how to format my paper.

As I finished doing my errand, I immediately went up to check my bestfriend if he’s already there. Yehey! There goes my bestfriend wearing red polo shirt, light gray pants, and his favorite Sperry shoes. I kept making him relax by doing our usual trippin’ moments. I was making him laugh and make fun of me so he won’t get any bewilder feeling as soon as the time hit for his turn. As soon as Raiza finished her compre, I immediately gave a hug my bestfriend give him my encouragement words even if I know that he could pass it. I believe on my bestfriend’s strength and capacity to answer panel’s questions since he can relate all their questions with his works. By the way, my bestfriend is connected with Makati City Hall and he does lot of government work and our program is connected with government issues (most of it). So as we were waiting for him to finish his compre exam, I got to find to time to take photos of my friends. Hehe..

From my instagram: nostalgicmortal

This is Raiza’s aftermath photo. She was the one who’s hugging Nat (the one with the laptop). Raiza was the one who took the compre exam among 3. I think she got stressed with the questions that have been asked to her because according to one her panelists, all her answers were very limited. Compre exam can cause you mental block. Panels can make you confuse with your answers. Tip: be confident with your answers or else, you’ll be trap!

From my instagram: nostalgicmortal

(from left to right: Nat, yours truly, Ate Weng, James)

From my instagram: nostalgicmortal

(from left to right: Nat, Raiza, Ate Weng, James)

These are my favorite people. I never have to hide my true colors with them. They accepted me for who I am and they guided me during the time of astonishing tears caused by pain and disappointment. They were there for me during ups and downs and they never fail to give me good advice to lead me on the right path. I’m so thankful that God sent them to me at the right time. They also never fail to fade my tears and sorrows if ever I reminisce everything that happened to me. I won’t trade them for anything. I also realized that God took someone from me because He doesn’t want these people to get distance from me because God knows who I really need in my life.

From my instagram: nostalgicmortal

Yours truly and my bestfriend

Finally, this my bestfriend, Doy. I so love this person even if sometimes he annoys me! HAHAHA.... there’s one thing I won’t ever forget what he said to me.. “You’ll never ever get bad in my eyes because that’s who you are. Whatever you do, you’ll always be the nicest girl to me”. awwww.... I was in tears at that time. I realized that there’s still someone who accepts me for who I am. Even if when I smoke; get drunk to the point of puking already; dress up like I’ll always be photographed; even if I always grumbling because I don’t want to walk under the sun nor walk in muddy road; he still loves me for who I am. He’s the only person whom I heard telling me that to me personally and despite for who I really am, he stays true to me. If he doesn’t like something with me, he tells me straight to my face. That’s why I love this gay! I’ll treasure him for the rest of my life and I won’t stop supporting him in whatever he does. I’ll always be there for him through thick and thin.

This is how I started my day. I started it with support and love for the ones I treasure the most. I thank God for such a blessing like them. God never fails! He’s witty. He knows who and what to give you. He saved me from the wrong one and sent me the right ones. Everything happens for a reason. I already planned something but God didn’t let me pursue it because He wants something better for me. He might not give the love of my life now but I know He’ll give me the best people whom I can rely on anytime.

Thank you, Papa J!

Law of Attraction

The “Law of Attraction” says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest. So by means of pulling all thoughts in my head towards me, I’ll be posting some of my “possible” wish list that I want to have as a reward this March.

 

I’m not an Apple fan, by the way. But when this iphone 5 was released and all of my friends have it, it suddenly pop out in my head and eventually, I see myself liking it. Though I’m using a Samsung Galaxy Note 2, I still want this and put my smart sim in it. My mind and heart keeps on telling me, “I want this! I want this! I want this!”

 

 

My dad promised me to give me an ipad once he got money from his bidding (he bids ambulance, patrol sidecars, motorcycle to LGU’s and other government agencies that need these). Ipad 3 is already fine with me but if this new ipad that will be released on late February or early March 2013 is quite price-good, I would definitely choose this. Teeeheeeee!!!!!

 

Hey, Samsung Galaxy digital camera! I'll have you in my hands VERY VERY SOON!

 

I need a new digicam. I really need it! My old digicam (Sony tx10) doesn’t give me good quality of photos anymore. It already reached its maximum actuations (which 10,000) and the quality of photos are now grainy. How sad :( Since I  took a hardship within my 3 years and a half of studying a program that I really need don't know how I survived it, I deserve this digital camera! :)

 

Canon EOS 60D, we'll be good friends SOON!

Again, my dad promised me to hand me a new dslr. I had one already (Nikon D60) but I want to try the quality of Canon and besides, my friends who take photography are using Canon. So might as well borrow their lenses and other accessories if I need to. Hihihi….

So there you are! You notice that it’s all gadgets. Well, I already collected so much girl stuff and I’m behind with electronics now. Nevertheless, I also need one of these so I can feel that I’m very much rewarded for all the hardship for 3 years and a half. Hihihi…..

The Art of Karma

GOLDEN RULE: Do not do unto others what you do not want to do unto you.

I’m usually a true firm believer of bad karma. Consequences from evil will make your past haunt you. Do good and let good things happen. Do bad and prepare for the worst. There are people who did bad things to me but I just let it pass by. I’m not the type of person who does things for revenge. But this time, things are getting worst. I’ll do what I have to do and so be it. I don’t want to be lied to and much more, I don’t want to be cheated on. So many things happened to me before 2012 ends but this time, I won’t let those things happen to me. This is my payback time. I can’t wait for the time that those people who hurt me the most will hurt me again this time.

What goes around comes back around. If I got to be cheated and lied on, well, sorry for you guys, it’s my time to do something now. I headlined my stupidity for the last time around but what you gave to me were most F*CKIN LIES. I looked down on myself because I can’t resist of talking to the people who stabbed me. I thought there’s a change among them but I guess they won’t change. Why are you getting freaking mad? Because you might end up losing her? Why did you cheat on her? You’re just getting afraid of becoming “nobody” in this world because no one believes in all your action behind your black shadow. I hope this will serve as your lesson. You made a wrong move, dude! What do you want to do with me? Threat me?? okei.. Then so be it. You might ashamed me in front of people but make sure that you’ll be in the right place when you do that. Make sure that you’ll be in your territory when you’re planning to do it to me. You’ll talk to my father? Why? Do you think he’ll believe you? Well, we’ll see.

You want me to stop bugging you? Then do something for your so-called "honey" or "husband" to stop bugging me too. I didn't take the first place to call or text me. He was the first one who did it. I pity you, dear! I really do! He keeps on telling me that he wants me to get back to him and never lose me again. Tsk tsk.. You guys should live the fact that you guys are getting married and look after your  "honey" or "husband" if he's trying to reach me. See???? I don't give a hell of what's going on between you guys. Live with it! You first mess with me. I'll finish it!

So say hello to your KARMA. I’ll be your WORST KARMA and you’ll never ever forget this. Next time, make sure of your moves because the next time you’ll do something to me, I really won’t let it pass by.

SEE YOU IN HELL! THE BOTH OF YOU! Yes, I'm pointing at both of you!

P.S. If you wanna try to put rocks on me, you can dial all my suncel number. HAHAHA... tsk tsk.. beware of who you are dealing with. You mind as well get f*cked up! Like what you are NOW! :D

graduation + diploma

On my graduation, I want to wear white dress and a pair of beige wedge. I also want to have curly hair and put my make up on. I’ll also wear my silver watch and jewelleries. Behind those pretty things on a pretty face, I want to be with my loved ones. I want to see there my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and my 2 niece because they are big part of my success. I want them to see me how I walk wearing those pretty things and blue toga on me as I hand my diploma and shake hands with big people on our prestigious school.

That diploma will become a big part of me. Behind that diploma are the episodes in my life that made me who I am now. From way up to downward, that diploma witnessed how I struggled just to aim for the success. Nevertheless, receiving my diploma is not yet my success. It’s just the BEGINNING of my victory.

Between my struggles are the tears and joys that taught me lessons in my everyday living. People that I met gave me extra power to get what I have to get. I thought I can’t stand up again and walk during the days of my tears. Disappointments hit me but it turned to better understanding of things around me. Plans were made but in the end, it just broke down into pieces. But I know behind those broken pieces of plans will be surrogated someday. A plan that will turn into reality and a happiness that will make me understand that not all things are meant to be.

On the day of my graduation, I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. I lost my happiness but I know I’ll be better little by little. I want to see all the people who made my dreams come true. All those people including the people who brought me down and gave impact to my life. Who I am now will be the reflection of who I am yesterday. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are different. Yesterday I learned. Today I’m learning. Tomorrow I’ll learn. So many things I want to understand but my brain doesn’t allow me to understand it. It doesn't allow me because I think I have to experienc eit first.  However, so many incidents in my life that I have to forget and replace it by good memories. Yesterday, I was this person who wanted to explore different world and feel where I can be comfortable with. Now, I learned that one should be in the world where everyone else has the same feature as you. Mindset should be the number 1 priority in the world that you want to get along to. All people are different and not all people have same mindset. But one should have better understanding on things around him. Because you can’t get from the other what you’ve got from the other side.

As I go through my journey, I realize who I really am. I got to know myself in different ways. Some will like me, some will don’t. It’s given and I can accept it. Some may think I’m bad. Some may think I’m not. People do have their own perceptions. All I know now is, I learned how to fight for my right and I learned how to motivate myself during my excruciating moments.

I’ll never forget my life behind my diploma. The diploma that I’ll be receiving on March will be the result for all my adversities for 3 years and a half of reaching for success. ; and that diploma will be the picture of who I am now for all the people who have hurt me in the rollercoaster ride of my life.

And oh by the way, I believe good people deserve good things in life. I wish to have this on my graduation and I hope He’ll grant this for me. Oh Papa J, I want to have this. Please oh Please! I’m just simple. Just this and I would be fine. Any color will do.. even 16 GB of BLACK! hihihihi.... *cross fingers*

IPHONE 5